I've been doing a lot of traveling the past couple weeks - including a couple visits to San Francisco, a bunch to Sacramento, and now in DC. It's been a whirlwind, and it's all quite rewarding in its own way. One thing, however, has been reinforced through a handful of random interactions, and I was just thinking about it after reading this post on LAist, which happens to be one of my primary sources of local news these days.
On all these travels, I've been noticing the reaction I get from folks when I tell them I'm from LA (or share with them information about how I feel about living here). Typically their responses range from "oh" (spoken as if I'd just told them that I was recently diagnosed with cancer) to "really??" (spoken as if I'd just said that it snowed in Phoenix... in July). On a rare occasion I'll get a positive response, but truly the difference for me could not be starker, particularly having lived for so long in San Francisco and having gotten such a different response whenever I shared that information with someone.
Honestly, whatever. I mean, I don't really care that lots of people don't like Los Angeles. I get it. There are days when you can see the air. And there are days when the traffic is maddening. And there are days when I just need a "pause" button to slow things down for a moment. It's a big and crazy city, and it's hard to really describe it in a way that I feel does it any justice. So I get why what are typically people's first impressions remain as their lasting, and sometimes only, impressions. They come once, stay a few days, find themselves driving around trying to hit what they think are the "must-do's" in LA, and they decide never to return.
What has changed my experience of LA into something truly exciting for me is, basically, giving it a chance. I'm not going to change the fact that the weather combined with people's driving proclivities sometimes makes for nasty air. That's part of living here. Not unlike those smelly, sticky days in the height of summer in NYC, or those chilly, brisk summer days in SF, or those biting, windy days in the depths of winter in Chicago.
Frankly, if there's anything that bugs me about people's impressions of LA, it's that they come across as lazy. Admittedly, I've been that person. And I now view it as lazy to complain about traffic, when, quite honestly, I've experienced just as bad (if not worse) traffic in numerous other cities. It's lazy to complain about air quality, when again that's something every American city has issues around, whether they'll own up to it or not. It's lazy to complain about things being spread out, when again this is true of nearly all American cities, with the rare exception being primarily a result of cities that are geographically constrained (i.e. on an island or shorefront or peninsula or isthmus). It's lazy to complain about the entertainment industry being superficial, when it's merely offering a product, not unlike how Seattle makes coffee, Houston makes oil, Detroit makes cars, and Miami makes people orange.
LA is funky, and I like it. The Los Angeles river isn't some great escape to nature, but it's odd and so reflective of how this city has grown up. Silverlake (where I now live) isn't at all the "SF of LA" that I've heard people say it is, but it's fun and full of unexpected wildlife (like owls, coyotes, raccoons, and a panoply of birds) and fun places to walk and cool restaurants. Yeah, there are definitely people here who are "plastic," and they'll own it rather than masquerading behind some facade of idealism. You can actually live here, with space and windows and sunlight, and not break your bank on rent or be forced to squish into a closet of an apartment, or have to give up the dream of owning a home, having a pet, or raising a family just because you want to be in a place you enjoy. There are TONS of neighborhoods, each with its own flavor; some are actually genuinely scary, others are over-the-top eccentric, and others are as vanilla as they come. There are lots of cool, interesting, good-hearted people here who care about doing right by themselves and others, and we're all in this funky fun place together.
So, yeah, it does sting a little for me when people complain about LA - in kinda the same way that, on a rare occasion, I got a sense from people that they looked down on SF, usually because they considered it to be too liberal for their tastes. That's just laziness.
I've also learned these past couple years not to judge others' choices to live wherever the heck they want to. I used to think it odd that someone might choose a Dallas or Boston or Chicago over San Francisco when I called the city by the bay my home, but now, whether or not I get it, I don't find myself feeling judgment around it. Different strokes for different folks.
Several people I've met in DC have said how much they like it here. Admittedly, I have my reasons for not liking DC very much, but rather than just cutting them off and stating my opinion, I've listened, and I've learned. Yeah, I may still have opinions about DC for years to come, but when I talk with people who have found something special in their home that keeps them choosing to stay, year after year, a few more of my lazy assumptions get chipped away. Now being the occasional recipient of others' disdain for my choice to live in a city so disliked by America, I've come to realize even more that we won't all agree on the choices each other makes, and that's a good thing.
So here I am, just past a year and a half in my new home, and I really do like LA. It no longer feels indulgent or funny to say that. I have myriad reasons to feel this way. And the most simple one is this: I feel at home here. I feel at home when the cool marine layer blows through the windows at night, or the sun warms the air in the morning. I feel at home when my boyfriend makes me some delectable dinner, or we walk up Sunset to catch a movie. I feel at home when our dog greets me at the door, impatiently clawing at me to greet him. I feel at home in my service of others through my professional work. I feel at home rocking a weekly trivia game, having fun with other singers in a local theatre, and organizing my neighborhood to make our streets cleaner.
I feel at home here. And, yeah, I really do like LA.
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